Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Crawling out of my hole.

7th semester is still devouring my life. It's exhausting, frustrating, insane? All of the above.

First off, you have no free time. Exams, surgeries, SOAPing twice a day, labs... It never ends. You're so tired you could fall asleep at any moment, but that's not all. Oh, no! You're going to be constantly on the verge of throwing things and screaming because you get a half dozen conflicting messages from different clinicians about the right way to do things. Oh, and that's after going into a surgery with absolutely zero information about what you're supposed to be doing. In previous semesters, if we had a lab we would have a handout to read through and maybe 1-2 other ancillary materials on top of that (videos, powerpoints, etc.) This semester I have literally not known what I'm doing the morning of a surgery. True story.

I'm one of those people who doesn't do well with uncertainty. I need a schedule, I need clear instructions, and I need to be prepared. Ross is oh-for-three on providing any of those things this semester and I've felt like just sitting down and rocking myself while crying a couple of times.

I feel like this semester is going to be a hellish, wild ride until the last final exam is taken and suddenly I'm brought up hard to deal with the fact that I'm leaving a country and people that I love. And then ALL THE FEELS will come crashing down at once and I'll just sob hysterically in my apartment with my cat. Until then, just power through it and pray clinics isn't like this.

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